Okay, folks. Getting our house ready to sell. Need Dip’s pink bedroom painted to anything but pink, some touch up painting, some flooring replaced… Bunch of small jobs.
I usually go through Yelp, and homeadvisor. AKA, Angi. I got an estimate for laying flooring from one company, and their disclaimer made me laugh. What do YOU think the following means?
Terms of Agreement
ALL payments must be made payable to Handyman Connection. The local, independent franchisee (hereinafter referred to as “Handyman Connection” or the “Company”) licenses the name ‘Handyman Connection’ from its franchisor (the “Franchisor”), and the Franchisor is not made part of this Agreement. Any payment for service made payable directly to a craftsperson or any other party will void all insurance, bonding, guarantees/warranties associated with this contract and may subject the customer (“Customer”) to additional charges. The Franchisor is not involved in the actual contract between the Craftsperson, the Company, and the Customer. Should the Customer have a dispute with any Craftsperson, service advisor or the Company itself, the Customer must address such dispute with the Company directly. THE CUSTOMER HEREBY AGREES TO RELEASE FRANCHISOR (AND FRANCHISOR’S OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, AFFILIATES, EMPLOYEES AND AGENTS) FROM ANY DAMAGES OR CLAIMS (INCLUDING CONSEQUENTIAL AND INCIDENTAL DAMAGES) OF EVERY KIND OR NATURE, SUSPECTED AND UNSUSPECTED, KNOWN AND UNKNOWN, AND DISCLOSED OR UNDISCLOSED, ARISING OUT OF OR IN ANY WAY CONNECTED WITH SUCH DISPUTES, WITH THIS AGREEMENT, OR WITH THE CUSTOMER’S OTHER DEALINGS WITH ANY CRAFTSPERSON, SERVICE ADVISORS OR THE COMPANY.
THE CUSTOMER FURTHER AGREES TO RELEASE AND NOT TO HOLD HANDYMAN CONNECTION, ITS AFFILIATES, ITS LICENSORS, OR ANY OF SUCH PARTIES’ AGENTS, EMPLOYEES, OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, CORPORATE PARTNERS, OR PARTICIPANTS LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGE, SUITS, CLAIMS, AND/OR CONTROVERSIES (COLLECTIVELY, “LIABILITIES”) THAT HAVE ARISEN OR MAY ARISE, WHETHER KNOWN OR UNKNOWN, RELATING TO THE CUSTOMER’S USE OF OR INABILITY TO USE THE SERVICE OR WORK PERFORMED, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION ANY LIABILITIES ARISING IN CONNECTION WITH THE CONDUCT, ACT OR OMISSION OF ANY CRAFTSPERSON (INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION STALKING, HARASSMENT THAT IS SEXUAL OR OTHERWISE, ACTS OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, OR DESTRUCTION OF PERSONAL PROPERTY), ANY DISPUTE WITH ANY CRAFTSPERSON, ANY DESTRUCTION OF THE CUSTOMER’S INFORMATION, OR ANY INSTRUCTION, ADVICE, ACT, OR SERVICE PROVIDED BY HANDYMAN CONNECTION OR ITS OFFICERS, OWNERS, AFFILIATES OR LICENSORS.
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL HANDYMAN CONNECTION, ITS AFFILIATES, ITS LICENSORS, OR ANY OF SUCH PARTIES’ AGENTS, EMPLOYEES, OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, CORPORATE PARTNERS, OR PARTICIPANTS BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, SPECIAL OR EXEMPLARY DAMAGES ARISING IN CONNECTION WITH THE WORK PERFORMED, TO THE FULL EXTENT PERMITTED UNDER APPLICABLE LAW.
IF, NOTWITHSTANDING THE FOREGOING EXCLUSIONS, IT IS DETERMINED THAT HANDYMAN CONNECTION, ITS AFFILIATES, ITS LICENSORS, OR ANY OF SUCH PARTIES’ AGENTS, EMPLOYEES, OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, CORPORATE PARTNERS, OR PARTICIPANTS IS LIABLE FOR DAMAGES, IN NO EVENT WILL THE AGGREGATE LIABILITY, WHETHER ARISING IN CONTRACT, TORT, STRICT LIABILITY OR OTHERWISE, EXCEED THE TOTAL FEES PAID BY YOU TO HANDYMAN CONNECTION DURING THE SIX (6) MONTHS PRIOR TO THE TIME SUCH CLAIM AROSE.
I don’t think that was written by an attorney. More like someone who graduated at the bottom of his class from a Junior College.
I should sign on the dotted line before this awesome opportunity passes by, right?
