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Lmao gives me another descriptive phrase - of late i have been using crotch goblins but i love that one too
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Dammit, and I’m all outta likes again. Pr0n St33p. Priceless…
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Mother fucker!
Previous Post here
Ok, now that I know what to expect when calling Home Depot Customer Service, I will formulate my attack strategy now. The replacement mirror was delivered by UPS today. oh, for extra credit, name all the phrases you can think of for which UPS is an abbreviation. You have 3 minutes. Go.
This time the mirror wasn’t broken, it was shattered. Once opened, the inside of the box was simply strewn with shards of glass, even though the mirror was bubble wrapped and Styrofoam-reinforced. It almost looked intentionally done this way, as if to say ha ha motha fuckahhhh, see what you get for calling customer service! But of course only a batshit crazy person would believe this was done on purpose as a way to get back at me for simply wanting what I paid for.
I’m going to prepare myself. I want this phone call to be fun and entertaining. And I seriously may use my company phone which has a call record feature. It could be legendary.
If anyone has any tips for me regarding the things I should include in my comments, hit me with it. If it costs me a refund, well I don’t really care. The value of mentally getting a Home Depot CS employee in a rear naked choke could well eclipse the money invested in this stupid mirror.
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Unfortunate Piss Stain
Uranus People Suck
Utility Pole Sucker
Under Pants Suck
Under People’s Staircases
Uh, Please Suckit
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Unfathomable Pink Scrotum
Unlikable Pastel Shades
Useless Pink Satchel
Undelivered Parcel Specialists
Utter Parasitical Sycophant
Undesirable Pink Sock
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Ultimate Package Slaughters
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Tell them to put someone in charge of packaging your delivery that hasn’t obviously been the inspiration for the movie “Idiocracy”.
Tell them at this point you feel your satisfaction should warrant special attention by a team of shipping specialists to investigate and witness the packaging of your mirror. And that they should then tape themselves to the box so they can witness firsthand who in the delivery chain is pummeling your package with a sledgehammer.
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Unreliable Pecker Slappers
Useless Pieces of Shit
Unparalleled Package Smashers
Unbroken Please, Shitheads
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OK, you win!
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U Punch Somebody 
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I can’t wait til we get an app where you punch your phone and on the other end of a call a fist shoots out.
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Truth be told, I’ve had pretty good luck with UPS over the years. Especially considering Amazon deliveries…where they package a tennis ball sized item in a box big enough for a basketball, and throw one or two air packs in the box, tape it shut and ship it! Gotta tell ya,though…I’ve gotten much more satisfaction by killing them with kindness when it comes to dealing with customer service. 
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Yeah, I actually love UPS. I blame the shipper. Especially since the table I just ordered for my vape room came from Home Depot and the box looked like it was cut open, the contents removed, then filled with various sharp objects and sent to China, Italy, Guatemala, then back to Home Depot, where they stuffed the table back in it and haphazardly taped it up and shipped it to me.
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I actually watched a UPS guy doing just that… it was Christmas week. Guess whoever loaded his truck put a box in the wrong spot lol. …here’s your 5,000 piece(s) porcelain doll set, ma’am. and Merry fuckin’ Christmas
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