I love ugly ties, but I know what side my bread is buttered on. See, there was this one time… Systems Engineer, Microsoft certified. 3rd day on a job. Owner of the Company ordered a meeting with his big IT staff. All 3 of us. International LLP, most of it in Asia. Each location had it’s own IT member.
I’d worked a Thursday, Friday and Monday was my third day. Came in and my “Boss” was SO happy to see me. Full on panic attack. What’s up? Says “the email server isn’t working”!
“What the last thing you did?”
“I rebuilt the server.”
9 month pregnant pause… “You took it apart, pulled the drives, RAM, CPU and reinstalled them?”
“I formatted the drives, and restored from backup.”
“Then it should be exactly the same.”
“Well, I installed Windows, Exchange, SQL, Terminal Server, then restored the data.”
“Okay, after we fix this mess, we’re going to have a long talk about Microsoft’s best practices.” Looked in the event logs for a few, MS’s technet to check knowledge base articles. “You didn’t apply the latest service patch.” He did, good to go. Called the owner, Mel, says he fixed it. Mel told him to have all of us meet him in the conference room.
My boss, John, says, “We’re dead.” I’m thinking, not me.
We get there, he starts pounding on the table, spittle is landing on my glasses, he’s telling us how we’re incompetent and can be replaced. I stood up and said, “Fuck you.”
“What did you say?” He asked.
“You heard, me, you’re an ass hole. I got here at 8:00 am. What time did john call you to tell you ‘HE’ fixed it?” 8:30 am., that’s when. I went home Friday at 5. John hasn’t slept yet. Because he’s terrified of you. I would have stayed too had he asked me. Not because you scare, me but because I am responsible for my actions."
Mel, says, “You want your job?”
“Not if I have to work with an ass like you. I was looking for a job when I found this one.” and turned around to leave.
A bit more calmly, he says, “Hang on a second, would you?” Says, “you’re German aren’t you?”
What the fuck?" asked I. “I’m an Adams, we’ll fuck anything. I’m English, Irish, Welsh, French, German, Italian and probably a few slaves. You learn to act like that from yo mama, or your papa?”
Say’s, “Don’t go there. If I give you Johns, job will you stick around? No one’s ever challenged me. I respect that. I think we could get along well. Why don’t you grab your wife and come to dinner at my home?”
We got to be good friends. Man made his own wine. We often got shit faced together.
Just for you @CaptainKirk
Last week scientists discovered there are trace amounts of female hormones in beer. To prove this, they gave 100 men, 12 pints of beer. Soon, they all started talking gibberish and were unable to drive.
Great grand daughter meets phone that’s not mobile! That look of shock is priceless!!!
