Not really, whenever I attempt to speak German, it’s just Dutch with a German accent. It sounds like I’m taking the piss.
It would be Alles fur Deutschland, like this one
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That’s the one… From what I was told it’s an SS, or SSA. An uncle got it in the war, but I don’t know the story of how he got it.
They weren’t used in battle.
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It’s an SA Honor Dagger, hence no fighting with it.
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Wonder where he found it.
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When I was a young teenager, I asked my pa why we should not do away with money and power and distribute it evenly among the American people.
Everyone would live in nice houses, eat the same foods… Don’t recall exactly what I said, but his response was something about incentive. Why should anyone go to school to be an engineer when they could sit at home and do nothing?
Would we have any engineers? Who would lead the country? Uneducated people who think they’re better than everyone else? That’s called “Ego”. do you think there be any fighting? There would probably not be any voting.
Then he said grab a book from the encyclopedias and look up communism.
Technate sounds like a scary place to start. To me, anyway.
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This made me smile. Oldest GGrand child is getting married in Oct. and coming to us here in California for their Honeymoon.
On face book, I told her I was looking forward to it because I have a couple small jobs I need help with, and attached this:
I dunno what’s up with this kid, she’s called me grumpa meany for as long as I can remember.
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Could this “Dick-tater” fall UP the steps? 3 times?
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My sister in law made me smile! My mother gave her great, great grandmothers wedding ring to my big bro for his upcoming wedding to give to his bride. He died in an accident at age 36.
AT the funeral, looking into the casket, she told his wife, Tammy she wanted her ring back! Tammy, in a calm, quiet voice said, “FUCK YOU BITCH!”
For decades, she grieved, even going to a séance several times.
Recently, without looking, she met someone and decided to get rid of some of her husbands (Jon) stuff, and asked my wife if we wanted her wedding ring. As you may recall, the one I call “Dip” is getting married soon.
Knowing she already had a set (I warned her it’s fake) we asked it if she wanted it. Of course she said, she’d be honored. I told her I “think” it’s her great, great, great, great, grand mothers ring.
Wish I had a picture of the band. If it was more than .8 mm I’d be shocked! My wife took it in to have the band strengthened, and asked the jeweler how old it might be.
He said he had really know way of knowing but maybe the early 18 hundreds.
Other than my ma and I the family runs pretty small. I’m short, but my 1 pack pony keg ab is rather a bit large. Not so bad as new years, I’m want to brag. Down almost 60 pounds!
At any rate, the thing was too tight to go over my wife’s knuckle on her pinky. Dip went to her jeweler to get her pinky ring size and we didn’t have to have it resized.
Incidentally, Dip called US via video (of some sort) to tell us of the engagement before anyone else including her parents.
At one point, I said, “Hey! I always call you Dip. When you get married, I’ll call your husband Shit, and you’ll be a couple Dip Shits!”
I should mention… I have a Doctorate (top of my class) from a University of Assholes!
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Hehe, because I didn’t know they were using these in public yet. Well all I have to say is it’s about time !!!
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Livonia. 'Bout 40 miles north of us.
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Once again, I made me smile today. Best of all it was at a telemarketers expense.
Scammer: Hello, Biran, I’m from consumer services. Our records indicate you have more than $7,000 in credit card, debt, is that about accurate?
Me: What? Shit, dude, more like $60,000.
Scammer: Well, sir, I have some great news then. We can cut that debt buy around 40%!
Goes on to tell me they’ll pay off all my debts and I’ll make only 1 payment to them per month at such a low interest rate that I’ll save 40%.
Asks me if I knew that creditors are predators, that don’t want you to get out of debt. More scare tactics follow.
How many cards to you have?
Me: 7.
Scammer: Are any in collection?
Me: The phone never stops ringing!
We go over all of them, one by one, a few master cards, visa’s AmEx… Can you even have more than one card with each credit card company?
Isak Asimov would be proud of my fiction.
I’m looking at the length of the call. 22 minutes so far!
FINALLY he asks if he can have my email to send some forms to me to sign.
Me: I don’t know, have I wasted enough of your time?
Scammer: What do you mean, I’m not wasting your time!
Me: No, I asked if I’ve wasted enough of YOUR time? Dude, I’m retired, I got nothing BUT time. I figure, The longer I keep you on my line the less people you can waste their fucking time.
Scammer: Do you talk to your father like that?
Me: No, when I say fuck it’s when I cum in your daughters ass hole.
He hung up! Why would he hang up?
Great news, everyone! Not 5 minutes later my phone rang. Scam likely. Was the same company. 34 minutes this time! Only difference was, this time I asked if he had any 8-year-old boys.
Did I mention I have a Doctorate (Top of my class) from a University of Ass-Holes?
Give me all the meds you want, doc! Sometimes I still love me!
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Okay, this first made me smile around 2015, but I just remembered it and it made me smile today, all over again!
The wife and I were on one of those old fart’s bowling leagues. Monday Morning Madness!
Feller on an apposing team (thankfully) LOVED his Bloody Mary’s. So do I, but I don’t make mine until 4:56 pm on the dot. Takes me four minutes to make it.
Anyway, this dude would have 1/2 dozen in the first 90 minutes of the game. His team started out doing great!
One day I asked the bartender to make his next one without Vodka. He came back with his fresh cocktail, took a long pull, said, “AHHH”.
I asked him how he liked it. Says, “great, why?”
I said, “because it’s a virgin.”
Loud and clear! “I’ve never had a virgin in my life!”
That end of the alley got real quiet. Then I said, “Well at your age, that’s the closest your going to get.”
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LOL
LOL
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You either huh?
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Wise guy…lmao. 1st one was
Whatya doin’ out of bed this early anyway, old man?! 
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WARNING! I WILL mute you for the day, if you should become too talkative…jus’ sayin’ 
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Sad, but good. After more than 14 years, my OG Weber Genesis was finally needing to be replaced. Probably could have extended it’s life another 5 years if I had covered it up more.
Instead of buying online went into a local ACE Hardware, and the guys were great.
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Smile and not smile at the same time - I finally finished the house i have been building for 23 years only to put it on the market so i can settle my divorce. Kinda bitter sweet. But satisfying that it is now done (except for a couple of minor jobs)
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I support my local Ace, as well. A few more bucks than the big box stores, but, always friendly, helpful staff. Congrats on the new Weber, SD! Still nursing my 2000 Silver model. It just won’t quit!
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What a NICE home, Simon! Shame, after all the ‘sweat equity’, that it’s got to go 
Why the raised center of stucture of the shop/garage? You have something really tall, that you kept in there? And, did you build the coffee table in the living room?
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