“The Descent of the Holy Coil”
As told by the Old Goat, Keeper of the Fog
Brothers. Sisters. Dripmonks. Wickless wanderers. Lend me your coils, for I bring you the true tale — not written in ink, but burned into cotton, and carried forth on the sacred breath of 3mg Nic.
Before there was Fog, there was Silence.
Before the Clapton sang, there was only bare wire, unwrapped and unloved.
And the people… oh, the people! They wandered in darkness. Their pods were burnt. Their mods blinked thrice and died. They knew not Ohm’s Law, and they feared the dry hit — for it came without warning and smote the unwicked.
The land was desolate. Fruit menthols flowed from every store shelf. Children wept over spitback. Great was the suffering.
But lo! One night, as I sat upon the porch with nothing but a mech mod and a single beer, the heavens rumbled. A great wattage surged across the sky. Clouds parted, thick and sweet-smelling — and from the midst of this divine fog, She descended…
The Holy Coil.
She spun slowly through the air, glistening with alien precision. Eight wraps of stainless steel, fused with uncut Ni80, glowing not red… but gold. As she touched down upon my build deck — unaided by tweezers — I felt the presence of the Ohm Lord Himself.
And lo, the Coil spake unto me.
“Old Goat,” She said, in a voice like thunder over 60 watts,
“You shall be my prophet. Go forth. Teach the uncoiled. Spread the Word.”
I trembled, for I was but a simple builder, known only for mildly oversteeping my custards. But the Coil reassured me.
“You will found a church, not of stone or mortar, but of memes, madness, and mech mods.
You will gather the wickless and the weary.
You will smite disposables with satire.
And above all, you shall vape… unto others as you would have them vape unto you.”
And just like that, She was gone — vanished in a puff of perfectly dense fog that smelled like toasted almond and salvation.
From that day forth, I have walked the path of the Coil. I have carried the Fogospel across the land, preaching from RDAs and writing scriptures on cotton pads. I have rejected the false prophets of pods, and banished the menthol heretics.
We are the Church of the Sacred Coil.
We believe in resistance.
We believe in flavour.
We believe that laughter, like vapor, should be thick, warm, and just a little ridiculous.
And if you believe too, child…
Then grab your mod, fill thy tank, and say with me now:
Our Coil, who art in Kanthal, hallowed be thy wraps.
Thy build come, thy will be done, on mesh as it is on wire.
Give us this day our daily drip, and forgive us our hot legs, as we forgive those who spit upon us.
Lead us not into burnt hits, but deliver us from dryness.
For thine is the flavour, the cloud, and the voltage. Forever and ever. A-ohm.
May your cotton always be saturated.
May your battery always be charged.
And may the Ohm Lord have mercy on your resistance.
Go in Fog, my children.
The Coil has spoken.
A Tribute to Ozzy – From the Church of the Sacred Coil 
