How to practice safe sex…slide her down away from the headboard so she doesn’t hit her head. 
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You guys ever seen this shit? I laughed my ass off the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd time.
https://youtu.be/3DB-iWtRv1E
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Another killer oldie.
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Getting the GC reminded me of how bull at a gate I used to be…
Way back when, I needed a new master cylinder so of to the wreckers I trot. Friday afternoon at the old man’s workshop so I’m rushing.
I look at the part I had received and looked… Gee how easy is this just chop the brake line and a couple of bolts.
I go and get the tin snips and proceed to cut the brake line! Realising what a dumb ass I was, showed off my handy work to the rest of the shop.
Lucky the old man had a guy who came and made me new brake lines this late on Friday. 
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Oh hell. I have a similar one.
I was under a car I just bought (get ready to laugh) tightening the torque converter nuts (ok laugh). Of all things right? Long story. Which is funny as I only had the car 3 days. Anyway… where was I?
As I am tighting the two flywheel cover screws buttoning things up I noticed the positive cable to the starter looked a little loose. So after a long grueling operation of removing, cleaning, and loctiting all the damn torque converter nuts, I decide to reward myself with an easy fix and moved to tackle that starter power cable issue.
I grab me spannah, and reach up to tighten the nut and BAM! Sparks everywhere. Nothing to see here, it happens. I ain’t no surgeon dammit. It was right about then when brake fluid starts running down my forehead. Yup, I basically plasma cut a huge hole right in the factory metal brakeline on a 12 year old Buick Riviera. 5 hours later, I decided I don’t need any more fucking rewards. Just leave me alone.
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Oh thinking about it now, I’ve got more than I could say. Been away from the grease for so long.
It would be a total train wreck if I continued…
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I could probably write a book about the things that have gone wrong while working on vehicles,over the years! I CAN tell you that I’m grateful our bodies have the ability to heal wounds…my hands would look like they’ve been put through a meat grinder if all of the bruises,cuts,and smashed fingers compounded rather than having repaired themselves! lol 
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A proctologist gets sick of his medical career and decides it’s time for a change. He does a bit of research and settles on trying his hand at being a mechanic. He attends mechanic school diligently and pays attention in the hopes of being the best mechanic in town.
After taking his final exam, he notices a mistake with the grade on the test and asks the teacher.
“Sir, you have me 150% out of a possible 100% on the practical exam. This must be a mistake!”
The teacher replies, “It’s no mistake. 50% of the grade is for perfect disassembly of the engine. 50% is for perfect reassembly of the engine. I gave you another 50% on top because you did it all through the exhaust pipe!”
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Three guys walk into a bar, the fourth one ducks.
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What is the best time to see the dentist?
2:30
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Tooth Hurty…Ahhhhhaaaaa hehehehe 
^and shit.
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OMG, I HATE working on vehicles. You wouldn’t know it with all the “fixer uppers” I buy. I guess “junkers” would be a better word. LOL I don’t know how y’all can do it for a living. Big respect for mechanics especially the honest ones. NO REALLY, there are honest mechanics, for real.
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I’ve had the desire to know how things work since childhood. Just ask my female cousins who usually had dolls with missing heads after family visit’s! I was certain the heads could easily be reattached(yah,not so much) 
As my bio reads,here at VC, ‘master of none’…I have,however, been able to accomplish some fairly large cost saving repairs on our vehicles,my motorcycles and the lawn equipment over the years! Just like any of us here, the satisfaction felt from a “job well¹ done”, even with bloodied fingers or a gash to the forehead,etc. is priceless! 
(¹) this phrase could have two meanings depending on the use of commas. “job,well,done” meaning I’m not sure if this vehicle is roadworthy now,but,well, it’s done.
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Very Nice! 
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LMFAO!! Thanks for that
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Yeah the guy who narrates the honey badger video is obviously either very gay or very good at sounding gay. No matter - he’s hilarious. I’d like to drink beers with him at a pub and people watch. Be shooting beer out my nose I’m sure! 
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